Not long ago, I wrote that we were entering time of recovery. I believe that, but the road to recovery is still laden with trip wires and I’ve triggered a few lately. I debated whether to even write this post, as it’s going to sound like more complaining. But I decided that I will continue to be honest and transparent. So, dear reader, I warn you that the following entry is a little crass and unpleasant. If blunt language and frequent references to bodily functions is offensive to you, I recommend that you stop reading now. But if you want more insight into the life of a stem-cell transplant patient, then read on.
It felt as if my bladder was in a vise and being squeezed to a fraction of its size. I paced the floor of the apartment, making racetracks around the kitchen island and back into the living room. My face was contorted in agony and the tears did nothing to relieve the pain as I screamed silently at the top of my lungs (it was 5 am after all) to God begging for relief. “HAVE I NOT ENDURED ENOUGH?” It was the closest I’ve come to breaking so far, although falling over the edge into insanity would not alleviate my pain, either. If it had then I would have jumped headfirst.
This was the worst pain I’ve ever experienced and lasted for about 25 minutes. It was worse than any bone marrow biopsy, lumbar puncture, or broken bone. And it’s all because of my new arch-nemesis, the BK Virus.
About 80% of the population has been exposed to the BK virus. For most, their immune system keeps the virus in check and they never have symptoms. For immunocompromised patients, however, the virus can activate and cause bladder and urinary tract infections. Such infections are more common among women and the elderly. Most thirty-something men never get one. This guy will never forget it.
I first started having symptoms about a week ago. It began with a slight pain in my bladder and then burning when doing #1. In short order the pain became more intense and persisted in between bathroom visits. Those visits also became more frequent—about fifty on Saturday—and more painful. I am now taking three different medicines plus a pain reliever, a low-dosage narcotic. I cannot take any over-the-counter pain relievers, as they will mask a fever, which would alert me to another infection.
You can imagine my reaction yesterday when my doctor told me that I could be dealing with this for a couple of weeks. WEEKS? My stomach and jaw hit the floor in succession and I’m surprised that the rest of me didn’t follow. Normally, one’s immune system would fight off the virus in a day or two. But, since mine is suppressed because of the transplant, my body will take longer to muster up the lymphocytes to kill the virus. There aren’t any good antiviral drugs, either.
My doctor did her very best impression of my basic training drill sergeant when she told me to “drink water.” This is the Army’s first answer to any ailment from a broken bone to a blister. In the case of a bladder infection, it seems counterintuitive. More bathroom visits equals more pain. But, increased hydration helps flush the microbes from your system and does help lessen the pain. The course of action going forward is “pain management” and drinking at least three liters of water a day. I’m even cutting way back on coffee and didn’t drink a sip yesterday. If you know me at all, then that last statement portrays the direness of the situation.
Despite the pain of this latest malady, I’m still joyful that the most important things are all good. My blood counts are stable and my eyes have dramatically improved. My energy level is up and I’ve gained a few pounds. My family is healthy and we’re together. Abrie even started walking the other day and Emmy will turn five next week.
God continues to love us through it all. He hears our praises and my pleas for mercy. He can handle my questioning, worries, and frustrations. In fact, he even tells us to give them to Him. This latest battle has affirmed once again that I cannot do this on my own, but only through His power.
Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. (1 Peter 5:7 NIV)
Drink Water Brother! Put one foot in front of the other and RUCK ON!