Experience is the best teacher, so they say. I would add the caveat that “evaluated” experience is the best teacher. If we don’t take the time to evaluate what has happened to us, we often miss the lesson.
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Photo by Joel Montes de Oca; https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0/legalcode
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I’ve had ample time to think about what I’ve been through. So, a couple weeks ago I was prepared to give an answer when my friend asked me what I’ve learned from all this. My answer to him was relatively short: “I’ve learned that God holds true to His promises.” Although this is the most profound truth that I have learned, there is much more.
Smoothies and Friends
I’ve learned to make smoothies, for example. The Nutribullet that our friends Jason and Jodi gave us is awesome. I can feel the power. It’s almost like using a power tool. (Cue caveman grunts). I can usually eat a smoothie even when I have a low appetite, so Christi taught me how to make them. It’s also the best way to consume a 350-calorie Ensure, which make me sick if I drink them straight.
I’ve learned what real friends are. Real friends come out in 40-degree weather wearing bright yellow t-shirts with your name on it to show their love and support for you. Real friends take you to chemo appointments and bone marrow biopsies, call or text just to say hi, take your car to change the oil, and really pray for you when they say they will. I’ve also learned that I haven’t been much of a real friend in the past.
I’ve learned that it’s better to take your medicine before you feel like you need it. I’ve learned how much I loved running now that I haven’t done it for 18 months and how much I took it for granted. I’ve learned the worst time to publish a blog is on a Saturday afternoon and the best time to write one is when you’re a little emotional, like now.
I’ve learned, again, how incredible my wife is. Not only is she loving and nurturing, but resilient and strong. She is a woman of great faith, which, like mine, has been tested. This paragraph has nothing to do with the fact that she let me get a new 50” TV to watch football. In my defense, however, it also plays its share of “Bubble Guppies” and “Clifford the Big Red Dog.”
I’ve learned how much I have to be thankful for. Not only do I have a Proverbs 31 wife, but two precious, perfect-for-me, healthy little girls. I’m an Army lieutenant colonel by the grace of God and I love my job. Even more, in the midst of this trial, the Lord and the Army National Guard saw fit to approve me to attend Army War College next summer (more on this in a later post). I have amazing friends, family, and a wonderful, supportive church family. And a new TV. My cup overflows…with football…and all that other stuff, too.
The Main Lesson
I’ve learned that my priorities have been mixed up. At first, and still now at times, I can get very focused on getting better and feeling better. But, my desires should first be for the Cross, and then a cure. Even more, I should focus on the Crown that comes after the Cross. It’s eternal; my comfort is not.
Finally, I’ve learned, as I told my friend, that God is true to his promises. David tells us in Psalm 139 that every day ordained for us it written in God’s book (v. 18). Cancer doesn’t change that. War College doesn’t. Nothing does. No plan will be successful against the Lord. Period. So, despite recent bad news with my eye and bone marrow biopsy, I am reminded that none of this changes the outcome. It might alter the road to get there, but in the end, after all chemo treatments, medication, prayers, bargaining, and pain, His Grace is sufficient for me.
But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. (2 Cor 12:9 NIV)