I’m not a “cup is half empty” kind of guy. I’m generally not pessimistic and tend to approach things from a measured position. I wrote about “Cautious Optimism” once before and concluded that this wasn’t the right approach for me, either. I guess you could say I’m a “realistic optimist”, if there is such a thing. So, being a realistic optimist, one could say that I look at the 8 oz. cup as being filled with 4 oz., but waiting on a refill.
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| By LuciaSofo (Own work) [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons |
Facts and Hopes
The last two weeks of my life will forever be remembered as “The Fortnight of Headaches.” Thankfully, the headaches have mostly subsided and those I do have are significantly less intense. I’ve finally found a mild pain medicine that works. The results of the lumbar puncture I received in the emergency room were negative for any type of infection in my central nervous system, but the final tests for any leukemia still are not back. Considering that my headaches have decreased, not worsened, I’m optimistic that the results will be negative.
I’m finishing up three days of chemotherapy today at UK Markey Cancer Center. So far, so good. Thankfully, this drug doesn’t make me feel bad and is given at a relatively low dosage. I’m also preparing to leave for Houston next week for a biopsy and a check up, a trip that I’m not looking forward to. Realistically, though, it’s necessary to give my doctors an indication of what’s going on in my bone marrow, which, in turn, will inform any adjustments to my treatment plan.
I was also able to work a few days during the last two weeks. It’s great to put on a uniform again and feel productive. Hopefully I can get on a regular schedule after I return from Houston. I’m optimistic about that.
A Different Angle
As a Christ follower, I think it’s required that we are optimists to some degree. I don’t mean denying facts and falsely stating or believing that everything is okay when it’s not. I also think it’s wise to acknowledge facts as they are and not as we want them to be. But as believers, we have hope in Jesus Christ, which naturally points us toward a confident assurance that God will bring us out of any storm in which we find ourselves.
Could it be in all of this that I’m looking at my cup in the wrong way? My cup contains exactly half of its volume, but is ready to receive more. But, King David said that his cup overflowed:
You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. (Psalm 23:5 NIV)
Despite all the troubles of his time, David saw his cup as containing more than enough. He began the Psalm by saying “I shall not want”(v. 1). The Lord was his shepherd and provided every thing David needed.
When I look at my cup from a different angle—from David’s perspective—I see that God has provided me, too, with everything I need and so much of what I want. Even though I, too, am surrounded by evil (leukemia), Jesus has filled my cup with himself, which is all I really need. He’s topped it off by giving me a wonderful family, a career I love, an awesome church, and caring family and friends. My cup, too, overflows.
So rather than categorize myself as a pessimist, realist, optimist, “anything-ist”, I’ll simply be a Christ-follower, which brings with it the hope and assurance of being in His presence for eternity.
Surely your goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever (v. 6).