To borrow a quote from another Dickens’ novel, “It was the best of times, it was the worst of times…”1 He was writing about the period leading up to the French Revolution, but I might well describe this time in my family’s life in a similar manner. We have been enduring this trial for going on ten months now. There have been times of sorrow and uncertainty, of pain and doubt. There also have been periods of elation when we’ve received good test results. This time in the furnace has refined our character and strengthened our faith while bringing our family even closer together.
A “best time” came on Tuesday when we received the initial results of my bone marrow biopsy, which showed zero percent blasts. This is incredibly good news and suggests the transplant is working. We don’t have the complete results, which are more sensitive tests that will tell us if there is any remaining disease and how well my donor’s stem cells have engrafted in my marrow. We also don’t have the results yet from my last lumbar puncture. So, despite the great news, I am still a little apprehensive.
I was discouraged on Tuesday morning before we got the results. There was no evident reason to feel this way. My lab results were good and my GVHD is starting to respond to treatment. I felt generally well. I sent a message asking for a few friends to pray for me and they did. Moments later we got the good news. Maybe it was the devil trying to steal my joy. Maybe too the discouragement was a result of my own internal management of expectations. If I don’t expect too much, then I won’t be crushed when a “worst time” comes around.
I’ve been listening to a really good sermon series on “The Theology of Suffering” from the Village Church. I recommend it, even if you aren’t currently experiencing a difficult time. My prayer has been and continues to be, “Lord, let me want the Cross more than a cure.” But, I have realized that this is an incomplete thought, because this trial doesn’t stop at the Cross. That’s not the end point. What comes after the Cross?
A Crown.
I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us. For the creation waits in eager expectation for the children of God to be revealed. (Romans 8:18-19 NIV)
I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us. For the creation waits in eager expectation for the children of God to be revealed. (Romans 8:18-19 NIV)
A new heaven and a new earth. No more death. No pain. No darkness. No suffering. No cancer. No orphans. No evil. These things are gone forever. Only good will remain because we will be in the eternal presence of the Father, and He brings only good things. (Revelation 21)
What’s even more remarkable is that this is a certainty. It’s a promise. There is no need to manage expectations. There is no need to protect ourselves from the possibility that God will not come through. We can look beyond our distress and expect a guarantee that cannot and will not be broken.
The rest of the Dickens’ quote is seldom repeated, but he writes, “…it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair.” Darkness and despair pervade the fallen world in which we live, but the Crown that awaits us brings only Light and gives us hope. One day the suffering will end. The Crown that awaits will not.
1. Dickens, C. (1859). A Tale of Two Cities. London, England: Chapman and Hall.
WOW Jeff!! You hang on to God’s promises!! You are such an inspiration. I so admire your courage and faith. I remain prayerfully hopeful that God will deliver you of this wicked illness. (Joyce Mullins)
Thank you, Joyce. He is good! Thanks for continuing to pray for us.