What started as a seemingly harmless cough over the weekend now has me admitted back into the hospital. During my scheduled visit on Monday, the biggest concern was a growing skin rash that is attributed to GVHD. I did mention the cough. My doctor listened to my lungs and said they sounded clear, but just as a precaution I would have a chest x-ray, although she didn’t expect to find anything. I never thought anything else about it.
Until Tuesday morning. I got a call from the nurse practitioner and she broke the news: I have bilateral pneumonia. Pneumonia?! What? How? But I feel so well right now? Only old and sick people get pneumonia. Oh, wait…
So we went to the hospital early on Tuesday and I started a course of three different antibiotics and another antifungal, kind of a “throw-everything-at-it” approach until they can identify the culprit. Today, I had a bronchoscopy (a camera is inserted in a nostril, through the trachea, and into one of your lungs to look for infection and take samples; I was able to watch it on a monitor) and a CT scan of my chest. Both procedures are relatively painless and fast and will give the doctors a better idea how to treat me.
I’ve racked my brain to determine how this could have happened. Was I not careful enough with wearing my mask and washing hands? I’ve only been out of the house once recently but avoided crowds. None of my family is sick. So, I asked the doctor, whose response was comfortingly vague. In essence, who knows? There probably isn’t anything I could have done to avoid it. I may have infected myself from bacteria that were on my skin. Most transplant patients end up back in the hospital at least once with an infection, so hopefully I’m getting my turn out of the way early.
We were upset with the news. Things had been going so well. While this isn’t a major setback, pneumonia is still a serious condition for a transplant patient if not treated quickly. The hardest thing is leaving my family yet again. I’m also concerned with the effect that it’s having on Emmy. She’s almost five and understands more every day. The sad thing is that I remember being five years old and the feelings of uncertainty that came from not having my dad around anymore. I didn’t know when I would see him. Things were suddenly different in a bad way. Emmy’s Nana Jean told us that she said very little and was noticeably upset after dropping off Christi and me at the hospital. I had tried to explain what was happening and that I would be home soon, but five year olds live in the present and now Daddy’s in the hospital again and isn’t coming home tonight. Before becoming a father I swore to myself that I would protect my children as best I could from the same sadness that I experienced as a child. I guess my best wasn’t good enough, but I know that God can use these experiences, even in her young life, for good in developing her budding character and compassionate heart.
As for Christi and me, while not easy, this latest detour is familiar. We didn’t want it to happen, but it doesn’t mean that God isn’t at work. I was reading Philippians this morning, apparently not by chance. Paul wrote to the church from his prison cell, not complaining of his predicament but rather portraying to them the correct perspective:
And I want you to know, my dear brothers and sisters, that everything that has happened to me here has helped to spread the Good News. For everyone here, including the whole palace guard, knows that I am in chains because of Christ. And because of my imprisonment, most of the believers here have gained confidence and boldly speak God’s message without fear. (Phil 1:12-14 NLT)
So, what if one nurse or patient here needs to hear the Gospel, and the Holy Spirit causes our paths to cross that day? What if one person reading this article is encouraged or, even better, commits their life to Jesus because of something He has said through me? Or, what if I need some forced time alone to hear from God? In all cases, as much as I’d still like to be home, I’d have to say it’s worth a mild case of pneumonia. If Paul can spread the Gospel from an ancient prison cell, I can do the same from a fairly comfortable hospital room.
Prayers for God’s blessings and healing hand in your life!
Thank you!