It’s hard to feel thankful when you’re throwing up into a tub for the umpteenth time. In fact, it’s hard to feel anything other than miserable. Add to that headaches, diarrhea, loss of appetite, and swollen, infected ears, and “miserable” is all I could muster for about four days. The last few days since have been better. Some of these symptoms persist and I just feel generally bad some of the time. I’m not sleeping very well. I usually get in bed before 9pm but each night is fitful with not more than a few consecutive hours of sleep at a time. If I’m lucky I’ll get 4-5 cumulative hours throughout the night until I rise about 8am or so. I usually drag myself out to the family lounge to get a cup of coffee, but typically only drink about half. It doesn’t taste quite right and my stomach doesn’t always agree. Not much to be thankful for, huh?
Quite the opposite. I’m at Day+5 from transplant. It’s way to early to determine success, but so far I’m actually doing very well. I haven’t needed a blood infusion in three days and received platelets only once in the last three. I’ve dropped twenty pounds in water weight in about four days; I was swollen up like a beached whale. Even better, my family made it safely to Houston and are settled in our apartment. I got to see them this weekend. What a blessing!
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| Dr. Emmy examines Daddy. |
Sometimes when I get my morning coffee I will sit in the family lounge for a bit just to get out of the room. I have to wear a gown, mask, and gloves, so it’s not the ideal scenario. Still, it provides a break for my four walls. As I sat there this morning, I prayed and asked God what attitude I should have now. His answer was immediate and simple: be thankful. Paul writes in 1 Thessalonians 5:16,
“Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus.”
All circumstances. Not when I only feel good or when things are going my way, but all of the time in all conditions. Honestly, I don’t feel like being thankful. Some days my only communication to God has been asking Him to make the pain and discomfort go away. He knows and he understands. But, Paul does not say to feelthankful; he says be thankful. “Thankful” therefore is not an emotion that we derive from our present state. Rather it is a conscious choice we make in spite of our present state.
I can be thankful because of Jesus. I am thankful because I have my family. I am thankful because of the promise of this transplant. But, more importantly, I am thankful for what lies beyond the transplant, beyond my family even. I am thankful for the Cross and the promises it brings. I chose to be thankful. Do you?
May God touch and heal you. May He hold you and your family tight on this journey!
Larry V Harris and family
Thank you.
God bless Sir
SFC Monday
Thanks. He has.