The cancer is back. We got the results of last week’s bone marrow biopsy yesterday on the eve of my admission to begin the transplant. It’s been a rough twenty-four hours. We have experienced a flood of emotions, but have also been supported by our family and church. We are meeting with my doctor today to discuss treatment options, which at least include another round of chemotherapy and the requisite long hospital stay.
I’ve been singing the David Crowder song, “How He Loves”, a lot lately:
“He is jealous for me,
Loves like a hurricane, I am a tree,
Bending beneath the weight of His wind and mercy.
When all of a sudden,
I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory,
And I realize just how beautiful You are,
And how great Your affections are for me.”
The news was devastating, yes. But, we have not forgotten how great His affections are for us. He is beautiful, even when we don’t understand what’s going on. All my afflictions – this cancer, my upcoming absence from my family, the chemotherapy side effects – are eclipsed by His glory.
He is worthy. We praise God through our tears and still believe that He intends to heal me. I will do whatever is necessary to continue to be a husband to my wife and to raise my daughters. I trust God to fulfill his promise to make this so
“And oh, how He loves us, oh,
Oh, how He loves us,
How He loves us all”
Jeff,
I really don’t have any profound words. Many of us that can’t visit are praying for you and your ladies. Wish I could just come hang out and “be” with you.
I still remember part of that dinner at Applebees and talking about faith. You have grown in amazing ways.
Jeff C.
Thanks, Jeff. That means very much to me. Bless you and your family.
Jeff-
I just wanted to let you know I am praying for you! I am asking God for COMPLETE healing, for peace for both you and your wife, for joy unspeakable, and for strength to persevere. We serve a BIG God who can do far above what we can think or imagine. I was very touched reading through your blogs. It is awesome to see you talk so openly about your love for Him! As I was reading your story I thought of Psalm 40. Verses 1-6 are some of my favorites!
“I waited patiently for the Lord; He turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; He set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand. He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God. MANY will see and fear and put their trust in the Lord. BLESSED is the man who makes the Lord his trust, who does not look to the proud, to those who turn aside to false gods. Many, O Lord my God, are the wonders You have done. The things You planned for us no one can recount to You; were I to speak and tell of them, they would be too many to declare.”
Thanks, Robin. This is very encouraging. “He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God.” I am already a new (and hopefully better) person because of the good work that he has done in me over the last few months. It’s exciting (usually) to see what will come of this in the end. Thanks for praying!
Hi Jeff-
Chad & I are heartbroken to hear this news. This is the first we’ve heard about it & will start praying for you!! I love reading your strong words & seeing your faith through this process. Your sweet girls are so fortunate to have a daddy that truly loves the Lord. You have always been a hero…first as a soldier and now as a fighter in a different kind of battle. We love & miss you! Praying with you!!!
Chad & Molly Lowe
Thanks, Chad & Molly. I appreciate that, especially the prayers. They are very needed. We do intend to fight!
There is no rationale understanding for our faith. It is easy to talk the talk, but only by the power of God’s radical life saving grace are we able to walk the walk. Afflictions bring us to our knees as our feet are put to the fire of our faith. We are looked upon as peculiar because all of this praise in the midst of afflictions seems odd and unnatural. That is because IT IS. There is nothing natural about praising God in the midst of afflictions. No human being who is unsaved can understand the peace of God which surpasses all human understanding in the midst of what would put the normal person into sheer anger, sheer despair and sheer fear. I understand your fight. I FIGHT with you with praise, thanksgiving, and standing on the power of God’s word. One word and you are cured from physical affliction. But even more important one word and our souls are cured for eternal life. My name is Gail. God called me into His kingdom Sept. 1995, 46 years after my natural birth Sept. 1949. The journey out of darkness has been hard with much affliction, but the joy of what has come on the other side is breathtaking! Thank you for your vulnerability and your witness of Who our God is!
There is no rationale understanding for our faith. It is easy to talk the talk, but only by the power of God’s radical life saving grace are we able to walk the walk. Afflictions bring us to our knees as our feet are put to the fire of our faith. We are looked upon as peculiar because all of this praise in the midst of afflictions seems odd and unnatural. That is because IT IS. There is nothing natural about praising God in the midst of afflictions. No human being who is unsaved can understand the peace of God which surpasses all human understanding in the midst of what would put the normal person into sheer anger, sheer despair and sheer fear. I understand your fight. I FIGHT with you with praise, thanksgiving, and standing on the power of God’s word. One word and you are cured from physical affliction. But even more important one word and our souls are cured for eternal life. My name is Gail. God called me into His kingdom Sept. 1995, 46 years after my natural birth Sept. 1949. The journey out of darkness has been hard with much affliction, but the joy of what has come on the other side is breathtaking! Thank you for your vulnerability and your witness of Who our God is!
You’re welcome, Gail, and thanks for that encouraging comment. God bless you.