Asking for Fish, Expecting a Snake

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By the grace of God I’ve been home since Thursday evening.  It really is like a dream come true.  This has been a wonderful homecoming, even if there have been a few unwanted events.  My sweet Emmy is sick and I’ve barely seen her since being home.  She went to her grandparents the night I got home just to help us ease the transition.  While she was there, she’s gotten sick and therefore cannot come home right now.  My immune system is on the mend, but is still very compromised.

I’ve also made two trips to the Berea Emergency Room.  The first was a short trip because we could not get my PICC line (the catheter in my arm through which I receive chemo and other medicines) to flush.  The very competent staff there was able to get it fixed and I was out of there in an hour or less.

The second trip was last night between midnight and 2:30 am and much less enjoyable.  I felt bad all day and then started running a fever in the evening.  I had to go in and get some blood cultures drawn and other tests completed.  The short answer is that all the tests were negative and they sent us home.  Thank the Lord for good news and our neighbor for staying with Abrie.

Despite all of this, I have thoroughly enjoyed my time at home with Christi and Abrie.  It’s such a blessing to be in my house with people who love me.  I don’t think Abrie knows that she loves me yet, but she smiles when I talk to her.  I’m such a lucky guy.

I admit that I struggled with some fear in the couple days before I came home.  I was worried that something might go wrong, like me getting a fever again, and I wouldn’t be able to go home.  It would have been crushing.   I was praying about it the day before I left and it was as if God said to me, “Jeff, why would I do that to you?”

I was immediately drawn to this verse:

“Which of you, if your son asks for bread, will give him a stone?10 Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake?11 If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!” Matthew 7:9-11 (NIV)

I was asking my Father for bread and a fish and was expecting a snake and a stone.  How do I so easily forget that my God wants to do good things for me?  We don’t always get what we ask for, true, but if we don’t there is a reason for it.  But if I ask my Heavenly Father, he wants to give me the desires of my heart and He delights in me.
Tomorrow is a big day.  I go back to UK for a PET scan at 6:30am, an appointment with the hematologist, a bone marrow biopsy, and a lumbar puncture.  Please pray that all go well.  The results of this bone marrow biopsy will determine whether I return to the hospital for six days or a month to receive more chemotherapy.  Pray for another fish.
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